Anam cara relationships and transactions
“An anam cara always bounces back. Because an anam cara is beyond friendship, it’s soul recognition. Fully-fledged soul friends never let you down. You could meet your anam cara tomorrow, or you could have grown up with them A soul friend is a loved one who awakens your life in order to free the wild possibilities within you. With the anam cara, you could share your innermost self, your mind and your heart. You are joined in an ancient and eternal way. This belonging awakened and fostered a deep and special companionship. You are understood as you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half-truths of acquaintance fall away. You can be as you really are. (O’Donohue, J., 2022)
Anam cara relationships and transactions are non-competitive and non-exploitive. Anam Cara relationship-building focuses on creating, strengthening and enhancing positive bonds and transactions between pairs of anam caras which bring positive affirmation, happiness and ability for self-love to each of them. It is non-competitive between the participants and with a participants' other relationships (with their partner, with their family's members, etc.); Its results can permanently enhance and strengthen positive aspects of those relationships too.
In inter-personal relationships involving pairs of anam caras, both people involved play reciprocal Aman Cara roles: these reciprocal roles are ""seeker" and "provider". They may alternate the reciprocal roles at any time when they discuss together, seeking and providing positive affirmation and developing a feeling of safety with each other. People pairing as Anam caras should not establish any boundaries whatsoever between each other at any time.
As an Anam Cara, you can develop with your Anam Cara a shared context as a mutual space of understanding by:
• Co-building a shared mental model by synergy between you and your Anam Cara,
• Being the anam cara of your anam cara or be a unique anam cara;
• Providing missing contextual elements demanded by Anam Cara as it was for yourself;
• Replacing previous traps from Rational choice modelling of "the decision problem" by a definite understanding of the "pathway for fixing the problem according to March and Olsen's (2011) "logic of appropriateness";
• Building with your Anam Cara the shared mental model(s) corresponding to the shared context.;
• Reiterating from the revised "problem to be fixed "until you reach, together with your Anam Cara, a shared solution.
